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Dear Talent Owner,
Your business has sued you, and has brought before this honourable Talented Talent Court...The Sama Ndango Show, the following allegations against you.
1. Defamation of character: My owner has given me a bad name by giving me no name at all. He has ignored the importance of defining my worth, without attaching any description of my prodigious ability. Very few people stumble on him and only by accident, and they never call back even by miracle. No one recommends him, BECAUSE no one knows I’m there, what I am about and what I can do. No one knows only me exist in my kind and I am his Uniqueness. I have been completely stripped of my dignity as a potential world wonder because of this negligence on the part of my owner. And oh…that leads to the next allegation.
2. Parental Negligence. When I was conceived in my owner's mind, I felt there was gonna be a banging business shower the moment I begin to show. That did not happen. My owner neither did checks with talent consultants, nor fed me with knowledge from experts in the same field. And he has been hearing of Sama Ndango, the infallible talent coach and consultant.
3. Attempted Murder: My owner is so impassionate about me that is strangling the life out of me with his attitude. When he has to write about me in messages or talk about me in phone conversations with potential clients, they all conclude he doesn’t even know about me that much. He hasn’t paid attention to what he got, and yet he wants to succeed. He needs to know I get even more disappointed than him when he gets rejected. The reason is easy... You Need A Coach. You may consider this negligence, but I say it is murder. I feed on, and live by my owner's passion about me plus continuous knowledge and guidance from the right coach. This has been very absent on my plate, and so I have been starved as a nursing baby deliberately deprived of breast milk. I hereby conclude that my owner tried to kill me with starvation.
4. Sequestration: My owner locked me away in a dark room, away from the world. He undermines the necessity for me to be in great breeding grounds for talents like me, through a coach who got results! I hoped to meet other budding talents blossoming under Coach Sama Ndango and participate in wonderful stuff important for my growth. He killed my dream of ever becoming a star with a huge fan base, with many people Liking my page on Facebook, Sharing my videos on YouTube, and twitting my fame on Twitter. He definitely did kill my dream by locking me away.
Talent Owner, we deliberately discriminate in favour of talents in distress. So if you are expecting a hearing, that is, if you got your own side of the story, you may appeal to Judge Judy or Jerry Springer. Life Success Judge Sama Ndango hereby confines you to two years of intensive expert coaching with the Miraculous MR. FIX IT...oh, Himself. You most definitely will report back with wondrous levels of greatness you have achieved under the entire spotlight of stardom. Both you and your talent deserve it.
...OK, are you really not guilty? Have you been struggling to get all the help you need to get your potentials to the spotlight? Never mind. Of course you know pranks happen. Keep your potentials in “good health” and move to greater heights with the expert guidance of Coach Sama. You will definitely be in the spotlight and stay there.
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